Alright folks, gather round for another riveting hot take from your favorite snarky science fiction blogger. Today, we’re diving into the latest update for Diablo 4, cleverly titled “Loot Reborn” season. Wow, sounds like a real game-changer. But before we get too excited, let’s take a moment to dissect the impact this update has on the game’s five classes.

Don’t worry, I’ll try to keep it simple for all you casual gamers out there. Essentially, this update has completely shaken up the game’s “meta” (that’s gamer lingo for the most effective strategies, for all you non-gamers). Sorcerers, who were once the ultimate powerhouse, have been knocked down a few pegs. But hey, at least they’re still good at leveling up quickly. Congrats, Sorcerers, you can now speed through the game’s early stages with minimal effort. But when it comes to the endgame, Sorcerers are struggling to keep up with the competition.

Next up, we have the Rogue. A class that has been dubbed the worst in the game. Ouch. Apparently, their Twisting Blade build was too powerful and had to be nerfed. Now, Rogue players are desperately searching for a new dominant strategy. Good luck with that, guys.

But wait, there’s hope! The Rogue’s ranged attack packages have been buffed, making them slightly less terrible. However, mastering these attacks requires “precision” and “proper resource and cooldown management.” So basically, you have to be a gaming god to play as a Rogue. Fun.

Moving on to the Druid. They may not be the best at leveling up, but once they hit the endgame, they become gods. Like, legit cheat codes. And the best part? They have multiple viable builds, so you don’t have to rely on one specific strategy. But let’s not forget the struggle of getting to that point. It’s like the Diablo 4 team wants Druids to suffer through the leveling process. Thanks for that.

Coming in at number two, we have the Barbarian. The team really went to town on this class, nerfing them left and right. But fear not, Barbarians, you still have the Double Swing Dust Devil build to rely on. Because who doesn’t love filling the screen with tornadoes that deal absurd damage? Oh, and they also have a Thorns package that’s almost too easy. But don’t worry, the team promises to bring other classes up to the Barbarian’s level. Eventually. Maybe.

And finally, the number one spot goes to…drumroll please…the Necromancer! Surprise, surprise. The team finally got over their fear of buffing minions and now they’re basically unstoppable. They can stun enemies while dealing automatic damage. It’s like playing a tower defense game while everyone else is stuck in an ARPG. And let’s not forget their leveling abilities. They pretty much level up as you do, making them the fastest class to reach Level 100. How convenient.

But don’t worry, Necromancers will most likely be nerfed soon. But for now, let’s all enjoy the absurdity of playing one of the most broken classes in Diablo 4 history. Because who doesn’t love a challenge? In all seriousness, it seems like the Diablo 4 team is content with letting certain classes suffer while others dominate. But hey, at least they’re trying to bring balance to the game. Maybe.