Ugh, another snooze-fest of an article about shenanigans on science fiction movie sets. Then another, and another, and another! I checked to be certain – 13 separate news organizations with the same exact article, the same exact video content: “Sci-Fi Movies That Pushed Things Too Far On Set”

I’m not gonna content shame but seriously folks – is Scifi News okay? There’s an unspoken dip in original thought surrounding a genre that runs on original thinking and that scares me. And what’s with the title? “Sci-Fi Movies That Pushed Things Too Far On Set”? Please. More like “Sci-Fi Movies That Made Us Cringe with Their Ridiculous Special Effects.”

We get it, Hollywood loves to show off their fancy gadgets and special effects. I mean, come on, did anyone actually believe that a guy in a rubber suit was a real alien? Give me a break.

Seriously, do we really need more of this stuff after spending hours in school learning about it? But hold up, this one’s about science fiction? Finally, something interesting! Oh wait, never mind. It’s just a bunch of far-fetched theories dressed up as “science.” Sorry, but I’ll stick to my Star Wars and Marvel movies for my sci-fi fix, thanks.

So apparently, some egghead scientists think they can predict the future based on past events and technology? Yeah, good luck with that, nerds. I’m sure your crystal ball and time machine are working wonders. And let me guess, they’re using fancy words like “speculation” and “hypothesis” to make it sound legit. Nice try, but I’m not buying your fake facts.

And what’s this about robots taking over the world? Yawn. Wake me up when they start doing cool stuff like flying or shooting lasers. And don’t even get me started on “artificial intelligence.” If my phone’s autocorrect is any indication, we’re light years away from that. And let’s not forget about the “dangerous” stunts they had to do. Oh please, I’ve seen toddlers do scarier things on a playground. Can we get a round of applause for these brave actors for pretending to be in danger? *slow clap*

Oh look, they threw in a Black Mirror reference. How original. Like we haven’t already analyzed every episode to death. But in all seriousness, props to the special effects teams for making these far-fetched concepts look somewhat believable. Too bad they couldn’t work their magic on this article. Maybe these so-called scientists should spend less time binge-watching Netflix and more time actually doing real research.

But the real kicker has to be Sharknado. I mean, seriously? A tornado full of sharks? I can’t even come up with a witty comment for that, it’s just too absurd.

But wait, they mentioned H.G. Wells and Isaac Asimov. Too bad they probably just googled them and didn’t bother to actually read their works. Because let’s be real, understanding the true depth and meaning behind classic sci-fi is way too much work for these lazy academics. But hey, who needs substance when you can just slap on a fancy label like “futurism” and call it a day? I swear, these journalists have way too much free time on their hands. Like, go play outside or something, geez.

In conclusion, while I appreciate the attempt to make science sound cool, this article falls short. Give me some real sci-fi updates, like when we’ll finally get flying cars and teleportation devices.  Stick to the facts, science nerds, and leave the sci-fi to the experts. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a Star Trek marathon to attend to. Live long and prosper, nerds.