Oh, Ridley Scott, the master of two whole genres. How impressive. Not every director can boast such a diverse and varied career…oh wait, they totally can. In fact, it’s almost a prerequisite for being a successful filmmaker these days. But let’s give Scott a round of applause for managing to hit two genres in one career. I mean, that’s like getting a two-for-one deal at the movies. Who says Hollywood is all about the money?

Sure, he’s made some great historical epics like Gladiator and Napoleon (wait, people actually remember that movie?), but let’s not forget his true calling – science fiction. Because apparently, making one good sci-fi horror film in 1979 automatically makes you an “auteur” of the genre. Yet somehow, Scott has managed to milk that one success for all it’s worth, churning out mediocre sci-fi flicks like Prometheus and Alien: Covenant. But hey, as long as it has a cool spaceship and some aliens, it must be a masterpiece.

But hold on a second – before Alien and Blade Runner came along to solidify Scott’s legacy as a sci-fi genius (please note the sarcasm), he was just another guy who directed a boring historical drama called The Duellists. And thank goodness for George Lucas and his little space opera Star Wars because it “blew [Scott] away” and gave him his new purpose in life: copying other people’s success. Because who needs original ideas when you can just piggyback off someone else’s?

Yes, after seeing Star Wars on its second day in theaters (because being trendy is important), Scott realized that he had to jump on this whole sci-fi bandwagon too or else be left behind with all those losers still trying to make period pieces about Tristan & Isolde. Poor thing was so depressed by the brilliance of Star Wars that it took him three months to recover from the shock. Wow, talk about dedication to the craft.

And what do you know? After overcoming his depression (cue eye roll), suddenly Scott became “very competitive” and decided to challenge Lucas’ supremacy in the world of science fiction with his own masterpiece – Alien. Because nothing says originality like using someone else’s work as inspiration for your own. But hey, at least he was successful in making a film that’s basically a rip-off of another one. That takes real talent.

But don’t worry folks, Scott still has respect for Star Wars even though it made him feel really bad about himself for three whole months. He thinks it’s “sophisticated fantasy,” whatever that means. And hey! Remember when he saw it in theaters? The audience was practically boiling with excitement! Oh wow, how groundbreaking. It’s not like that happens with every blockbuster movie ever.

So let’s all raise a glass to Ridley Scott, the director who owes his entire career to one film and still can’t come up with an original idea to save his life. Bravo.